Unstable Shoulder pain relief?

I have had subluxation in my shoulders since I was a teenager. Now at the age of 31, my shoulder has been sliding out of place, sometimes a few times a day. I can not sleep and have been constantly applying bags of peas to my shoulders. My right arm has pain shooting down it. The orthopedic say they are completely unrelated. I beg to differ, in my opinion, the pain and tingling in my hand, only happens after multiple dislocations. He says that anti inflammatory drugs are the only thing he will prescribe. My physical therapist seems to think this is cruel. He says I should just slow down in physical therapy. She says he should give me something for pain so that I can resume my life. I haven't slept in 4 days and have a 6 month old and a 2 year old. I am their primary care giver. On top of that I work a physical job working with adolescents in a psychiatric setting. I also am a full time student. I just want my life back. I can't even cook or drive. Does anyone have any ideas on what could work. I heard Tramadol or Ultrum could work. Has anyone had any experience with this?