How does this sound so far?

Very Good, It made me want to know why the lady is crying and why is Theodore so angry and yet so important to these other character........seems you have talent, I just hope nobody takes advantage of this and steals your work dear, I am also a writer and if you are working on something that you want to get published then I wouldnt trust the internet for opinions, get a few close friends to proof read your material, people you can trust and people who enjoy a good imagination and a great story =-)